see you met me at an interesting time...

...& if my past is any sign of your future, you should be warned before I let you inside.

*hola. Long time no writes, but I'm here now :) Here are some good august memories that I shouldve updated sooner, but oh well...
*they say the #8 brings prosperity. Well, as of 8.8.08, 24 is FINALLY done so its nice to be in 25 free of baggage & such. Hopefully that means some luck in my future.
*if anyone wants to use my international miles or be my date to my uncles wedding please contact me asap. I have to rsvp today for the wedding & I'm using those bloody miles if it kills me.
*ummm I'm from southern california. I am prepared for earthquakes. I do not fancy tornados, although a nice rain storm is enjoyable. Of course I would be in charge of the store when a storm the size of iowa decided to arrive in chicago. Being in charge of my dogs in my own basement is kinda creepy, so imagine my dismay when, of course, the tornado sirens start blaring outside, the atrium of the store lights up all gnarly & the cracking thunder is literally shaking the building. Me no likey. Everything turned out okay. I'm good in a crisis, phew. Plus we got to use sweet walkie taklie radios to keep in touch throughout the store.This shizz only happens during my shifts for reals.
*in early august,there was a mini golf located in the city. It comes fully equiped with bar (spiked lemonada!) & hot pink kiddie putter. The nicest, funny & most adorable guys in all of chicago will probably be found at mini golf, which is a bonus. It's great to people watch there, especially people on dates. The course is pretty hard, too. Its not replacement for frisbee golf, but it'll do for now. All those hours spent watching the golf chanel, or B.E.T., might start to pay off???
*We took a journey to the fair on my actual birthday. When I read that there was a mule & donkey fun show, 4-H demo: animals for pleasure (jr. & sr.) and elephant rides I couldn't resist! A few short errands & pit stops later we arrived at indiana farmers mecca: the fairgrounds! First stop was the dairy barn because I love cheese & well, it was my birthday so I said so. They have the freshest, most delish consumable dairy products ever! Its right next to the food midway, so it was fun to go around & see what sorts of food that should never really be eaten, let alone fried, was being battered & dipped into boiling grease. Deep fried pepsi anyone? How about twinkies or cheesecake? Next stop was the animal barns, my favourite part. The donkeys were so cute. I took the most piccies of them and even started naming them after guys I've dated. What can I say, I'm generally attracted to jackasses I guess. We watched a horse show being judged. My points system was different, as I took costumes & horse cuteness into consideration more than gait. Past the show horses were cows then finally pigs! They are so cute! They always have the worlds biggest & 2nd biggest bore. Of course with the biggest bore comes the biggest...well nevermind that. And next the moment every little girl & I dream about alike, the piglets! They are just so cute & tiny & fiesty. They run around all crazy, trying to beat each other to feed from their mother. It says to not pet them, but of course I couldn't resist. All of the other girls were doing it...we stopped by this amazing cheese carved sculpture & then got some sweet corn. You know I can't go a day in summer without fresh sweet corn. Last, but not least, was the elephant ride. This is what we came for. A mere $6 each & we could take a lap on cute ole' dumbo. We waited & waited and got to the front of the line. Finally it was our turn. I demanded that I be in front, it was my birthday. Em was behind me then aunt barb. V & Elle watched from the side, taking papparazzi photos, luckily documenting the whole thing. For some reason, maybe the fact that I get seperation anxiety without it, I kept my bb in my front pocket. Well, the ride was going smooth, dumbo was so cute & eating as he walked. The crowd ooh'ed & ahh'ed, it was perfect. Until that fateful 2 part happy bday text came through on my bb. You see, it was vibrating on my hip bone so I had to bring it out to stop it. Then when I actually looked at it, I noticed it was a 2 part from my favourite racing couple. If you love texting, like me, then you would understand how exciting it is to get & read a 2 part, especially while on top of an elephant! Well, the elephant master dude, dressed in lame safari garb, was not so fond of me checking my bb. Clearly he's never gotten into the whole texting thing because he proceeded to stop dumbo mid-walk and scream at me! It went something like this:
Him:"Put that thing back in your pocket and put both hands on the rope like I told you to in the first place. Now!"
Me:"but its my birthday and..."
Him:[mean mumbles & gripes]
Me:"sucka dick, douche bag."
The photos of this portion are priceless. Everyones reaction and expression is amazing. Ole' trainer made dumbo quickly march back to the loading zone and our ride was done. The crowd was speechless & I was giggling like a 7 year old. That was worth every single penny!
*sooo, I got in my 9th accident a couple weeks ago, rear ending a lady. I felt bad, offered to call the popo's and she wasn't interested. I told her I was sorry & that I was crying which made my contacts fuzzy...which is true, however I didn't divulge that I was also bbming ld simultaniously, which is probably the real cause for the little bump. She tried to blame these gnarly scratches on her bumper from me, but being the accident veteran that I am, I no diced her on that one & told her she's in luck cause I know a product named scratch x available at her local auto zone that would take those right off. I even offered to get some for her & do it myself. She just stared at me blankly, muttered something about how her husband is going to kill her, took down my number & left. Still haven't heard from her (knock on wood). Hopefully her husband really didn't kill her. Just another valid reason for my list of why not to get married. And maybe ill stop bbming & driving, too.
*ummm. Ok. So. Since when do people break-up because the girl doesn't want to get married? Let me quote "sad story, huh? To move forward as a couple, you should want to go to the next step."-annon, 31. Is this for reals? That is not a sad story, but something disney needs to incorporate in its next movie. Just because you love someone & maybe even wanna make little babies doesn't mean you have to marry them. If we are lucky, or fabulous ;), we get a few great loves. Shit, if I married my 2 great loves so far I'd be divorced twice before 25. What a dbag. He was wearing a newsboy hat. Figures.
*funny I should mention getting rid of baggage, as that has literally become the case with my luggage. For reals. I all started when I insisted on watching the entire entourage episode from sunday (vinnie chase does it for me everytime. & ps I think ck & crys sneek bits of my life to the producers so they can write it into johnny dramas life & then tease me about the parallels, but that's a whole other story for a later date). Well, because of watching the show, I was running a bit behind & I had to hear it from elle woods the entire trip there. And we got stopped by the train. So, when I finally get to the airport, there is no curbside checki-in. I go inside to the counter & explain to the man that I'm already checked-in and hae my boarding pass, I just want to check my bag. The guy shoots my weak attitude & insists that I use the computer anyway. I get to the part where its time to check bags & its charging me $15. I don't have enough time to bitch about that, so we'll skip it for now. I wait about 5 more minutes for this guy to finally come back over so I can explain to him -4 more times- that I just want to check my bags & pay cash. 5 minutes after that, once he finally grasps what I'm saying, he asks if my final destination is charlotte, too. What, as if my imaginary boyfriend is standing next to me & has already checked in & that's where he's going? I then tell him I'm stopping in phoenix before proceeding to long beach. Clearly this man is like a dog & only heard the first part of that sentence, because he puts a tickets that says phx on my bag. This is after he snaps at me again for explaining he's not sassing my, miss. No shit, your an incompotent dumbass who has trouble listening. He checks my id to the bag tags and tells me to hurry so I don't miss my flight. I shouldve know to follow my gut & double check again. Let's forward to landing in long beach. I wait & wait for my bag...nothing. I try to calm down as much as I possibly can so I don't blow a gasket & look like a terrorist. Good thing I'm a lady because I very calmly told them to get f-ed & get my bag to la pronto. So remember when I said d-bag from indy checked my id? Well not only can he not listen, but he also can't read. He checked my bag under carol weller, who was staying in phx. Ill take some accountablity by admitting I shouldve triple checked my baggage claim ticket, but in 8 point font weller looks like wheeler. Well, hopefully my bag, with wally the wombat inside, will be at lax @ 8:55am here & then shuttled to me within a mere 4 hours. Let me close by saying I walked through security with more lipgloss & matches in my bag than one would know what to do with and nothing happened. I smuggled them in sans ziploc baggie. Hello people, its 9.11 anniversary today, have we learned nothing? Letting me smuggle in over 10 tubes of lip gloss & checking my bag under another persons name & letting me bring fire onto a plane is probably not the safest thing. Not because it's me, I'm mostly a nice girl, but what if it was some other d-bag with a scheme to hurt people? Of course I couldn't end without mentioning that this is - of course - the same airline that has my international miles tangled up & won't let me ever have a reasonable way to use them.
*sat is usc/osu. Fight On Trojans! & hopefully Michigan beats ND.
xx

don't dream it's over

*heaps has happened in a month! I'm back from blog vacay now, phew. Recap since last time:got arrested on way home from iowa, ran out of gas on the expressway & have added hitchhiking as activities I enjoy as a result, lost my sunnies @ jax's on the 4th (you know the 2 things I love most are sunnies & my bb!), crashed a family reunion w/alissa, & disloacated my rotator cuff @ work...whatever that means I just know it hurts big time. Let's fast forward to present:
*am & her beau were in chi with nascar and I was lucky enough to have them come visit. We took the train to wrigley & went to a cubs game. I've never actually scalped tickies w/out leah. Trying to be cool I suggested we get standing room only tickets. Too bad none of us knew what standing room only really meant just that. Duh. A few old style lights & ball park foodies later & we were hi-5ing our neighbors in the standing section.
*of course everytime I train dt lately & need to connect to the redline its under construction. Last weekend I was trying to meet l&a for a streetfest & again my redline transfer was under construction. Of course, just as I was getting off the train (which is right by a theater) the chris rock show is getting out & mobs of people are trying to get a taxi the same time as me. I decided to walk a few, or maybe 9, blocks & get a cab there. En route I passed a homeless man that all of these people were passing by & not helping. Being the nice humanatarian I am, I reach in my bag to get a couple $ out(I know how much it sucks to want to get my drink on & not have enough $). As I'm getting ready to handover the cash I read his sign, @ which point I notice he has introduced himself on. How clever...too bad for him his name started with a d & didn't get any better. I felt bad no longer & bought my friends a round with the cash when I got to my destination finally.
*babysitters club part uno:
Things I have learned from babysitting...
1.Kids love keys. Always have them handy & big enough so they won't choke. This will entertain them for hours.
2.The disney channel is hypnotic & a must have.
3.Baking is cheap entertainment & like kid crack. They are mesmerized by breaking eggs & stirring things together that looks like mudd & taste like chocolate. Plus they are alway well behaved when they know treat are coming.(Bakers note:when baking be sure to read the proper measurements in English, not metric. 1/4 cup is NOT the same as 1/4 litre. This may cause your brownies to look like soup, but don't worry they will turn out good enough for the kids not to know the diff.)
4.Shit hits the fan all at once. Baby will wake up the same time the buzzer for brownies is beeping & the pizza man arrives. Don't panic, grab the baby, turn off the over, the pizza guy can wait.
*since I've found blogging on the bb more helpful these days, I've started to feel like rev run. I've tried to master his laugh, now its onto bb blogging. Except he manages to safely blog from the tub & on the tele at that. I, on the other hand, take the bb in the tub with me just 1 time & poof...I pass out & wake up 2 hours later with the bb taking a bath with me, only its at the bottom by my feet. Oops! Poor bb, thank goodie it dries nicely.
*i have rekindeled my childhood love of batman. I remember when my aunts & uncles took me to see batman for the 1st time when I was in 2nd grade. They even got me a rad batman watch although I couldn't tell time yet (yes, I'm aware I still don't tell time). Leah took me on a getaway to see dark night & I'm hooked again. Christian Bale is #1 hottie & I don't care if he supposedly assaulted his mom & sis, they were probably doing something bitchy. God bless those baby blues & the dark knight! I totally want a batman ice cream cake for my birthday instead of hannah montana.

what about those shoes your in today...

...They'll do no good with the bridges you burned along the the way
-salutations live from the iowa corn indy 250! This is the 1st time I've tried to do this from my bb, so bear with me...& wouldn't you know it as soon as I start I get a bbm. Hi leah xoxo
-the fabulous veronica al la crystals little sis made the journey with me. Leah & I took her to din @ a posh new eatery where I boasted about how delish the jumbo tater tots filled with cheese were. When our order came they were the frozen kinds you get from the grocery. Boo!
-we left the chi @ 5am to get here at a reasonable hour. The drive is only 5 hours & 7.5 hours later emily texted to see if we made it ok. Beings that she was 2.5 hours late & we could've been unconcious in a corn field, I decided to tell her I drove off into a corn field whilst I was trying to paint my nails chanel organdy...& she believed me. It was glorious.
-ummm I'd like to give a shot out to our hotel. I was staying @ the holiday inn until my p.diddy said I could stay with him. I thought no worries, it'll be all good. Sike. Please refer to mobile uploads on facebook later to see what I mean. Oh well, alls that matters to me is good company, lots of laughs & big wins...
-i'm sure I'll have many entertaining stories to blog about throughout the day, I haven't even seen rob & big yet...but now I'd better pay attention to practice. xoxo

(i'm so perplexed theres not even a catchy song lyric in my head)

• there was a monsoon in oak park yesterday. oh, it's true. and i was stuck out in it with only my bb, starbucks & sundress. i thought it would be nice to talk a walk in my neighborhood and explore aka find an ice cream shop. it was literally raining sooo big it would probably hurt and child. thank goodie i had will on the phone talking me through things. the good news is, just as i was almost totally weened off lattes, it was pouring so hard i had no choice but to duck into starbucks...only to find a totally hottie with smashing blue eyes behind the counter. guess whos taking up lattes again?!
• i finally got a new phone somewhere between bump day and race day. it's a bb and i am addicted to bbm. plus i get google so quick. which is good and bad. if you have a pin let me know so we can bbm. all the cool kids are doing it ;) will says you can crack each other from other countries. hopefully thats a function i won't need to explore soon, unless he's taking a trip to the bahamas or my aunt in italy gets a bb.
• for the love, oprah has given up meat. poor steadman. i'm sure she'll act as though shes the first person to give up meat to detox and loose weight. oh, she's also becoming completely vegan and gluten free. why isn't she just honest and say she got lipo instead of turning american women into a tizzy boycotting meat & dairy & gluten?
• west nile is back in chicago. nothing says sexy like wearing off with that cute sundress (shirt) on a summer night...
• i can't properly focus right now. sorry it's been a while, but i promise to have a juicy great blog up before the end of the week. my mind is wondering how a grown man who preaches honesty can be so dishonest and look at himself in the mirror. there are 19 year old out there who are more honest. on a positive i love my bb!

the blank pages of my diary that i haven't touched since you left me...

this is my first may completely and officially single in 7 years. shit, that's almost 1/2 the time i've been going to 500s! maybe i should write a book about all the crazy things that i've gone through in life during may. casie gets in to indy in 1 week. we'll probably create chapter 17.

• i've thought long and hard how in the hell hillary clinton wins in any state, but i've been very disapointed she won in indiana. who votes for her and is serious? i know she can get the pitty party and all so maybe that would be 2% of americans. seriously people?! she has mood swings every 28 days, shes a woman and she has no sense of style. (p.s. i now manage a contemporary career woman's department, so i'm not far off here). i was home in indy, driving down 10th street and it hit me...almost literally. this woman, in her smaller suv, came barrelling out of ritter's frozen custard and insted of 1. waiting for no traffic for her to turn right or 2. turning right in the closest right lane, she plowed into the far left lane while turning right then zoomed over to the far right lane. all in front of me. after all was said and done i saw her hillary bumper sticker and that explained it for me. cunt.
• i had the pleasure of having dinner with my 2 favorite men in my life: my daddy and willie. we went to the best spot to relax in indy, harry & izzy's, duh! after a few cockipoos we started talking about relationships. i've become an expert evading this when it comes to talking about me, but i can ALWAYS pry something good out of others, especially will after drinks. we were mostly joking about the child he's been babysitting for the last 10 months and cheering to his newly single-ness when he state this: "if you want closure in your relationship start with closing your legs." hands down he gets a major kudos. i know i tell most amazing people i know i'm going to quote them on stuff but this time i had to follow through. willie is a genius. lonnemann 2016.
• after the lovely dinner and trip to the little kiwi's new condo downtown with packy (which by the way introduced us to kiwi vodka that is mixed with some special berry? note to self, investigate this cause it was delish!) we went back to chateau and had nightcaps. e was relaxing in packys recliner with a good buzz going, which normally is a one drink girl, and all the sudden she fell back. while still sitting in the chair. my vodka almost came out my nose. the best thing i've ever seen in that basement bar & trust me i've see it ALL down there.


i always keep it gangsta




packy & reg keep it gangsta, too & dance it out

• while i was home in indy i didn't get to see 1 race car on the track. bummer. but i did get to hang out with the fam in dad's garage and have giggles. i usually don't use public bathrooms, but the garage feels like home and it has gojo natural orange pumice soap so i love washing my hands there. well, when i went to wash my hands it was all gone. bigger bummer. i came out and expressed my sadness over not having any of the soap this year and they told me to open my big eyes and see the big pump jug of it next to the seat...
• a few hours later i went to get moms suv washed at kopetskys in speedway. i forgot i had my hard card on and i didn't see any sense in taking off my sunnies to pay, it was bright as hell outside. so i went inside, the lady clerk told me a story about a previous customer complaining that the bathroom wasn't stalked, so i told her about my soap moment at the speedway and we giggled. i sat outside and played on my phone, the norm for when i start to get anxious and waited for the car to be done. all the sudden i noticed they get the vaccum back out and are re-doing it after everyone has dryed off the car. i was perplexed. the manager finally waves me over and says "mam...may i please see you ticket?" so i turned and gave it to him and he followed-up with "the lady inside & all of us thought you were danica and we thought we were servicing her car. funny thing is i had a dream she'd come by and we'd get to service her car, so it's been a pleasure." at that moment i remembered my hair was back to it's natural color.
• packy & mom's company, pg, is throwing their annual party sunday. if your cool i'll see you there. if not, think of how much fun you could be having with me and the hooters girls sucka. xoxo.

apartment

and i think to myself what a wonderful world...

many many things have happend in the last two weeks, but since it's taken me so so long to get them on here i've included a little bonus with some piccies. so, let's get to it shall we?

• why does it seem like everyone i know has been asking me about forms of self medication? do you guys think this is okay?! lets get it straight: i don't take medicine, unless it's dr.'s orders. not even tylenol. try self meditating instead? or plant flowers. that always makes people feel good.
• mom came to visit when dad was in japan. she brought shelby and shelby brought her american girl doll. we took the train into the city for the day. first stop: american girl store. i was accosted by countless mothers who were running around this little girl store like vultures. we dropped shelby's doll off to get her hair did. it was $20. to get a f-ing dolls hair did!!! i hope i have all boys. if for some reason i ever have to get married and god hates my husband i'm sure i'll be stuck with all girls.
• sooo why pay for dirt to plant flowers? dirt is natural and well, it's dirt. it's like paying for air at the gas station, it just perplexes me. i told my dad how i was going to just go to the park or somewhere and dig up some dirt so i can plant all the lipstick boxes i've collected that biodegrade and grow wild flowers. in an effort to save me from going to jail by stealing dirt he put some in a ziplock and sent it up here with emily. thanks pacdiddy. xoxo. rack'em.
• king kaillou won the mutt strut. reggie was himself, but i think we can award him rookie of the year. he's learned his lesson and i think he'll train more next year. chanel was the trophy queen. my dogs are snobs, they wouldn't drink out of the community water bowls placed all around the track. look at these photos then go to indyhumane.org and donate what you can to help animals. or adopt one, even better!

• cryssie & her hubby a la the los came to visit. i'm such a lucky girl! we had the most magical day going to a cubs game and having heaps of fun. if you want all the deets hit me up on the phone and if your lucky i'll spill the beans. i have to keep some things secret, or my hair will go flat, duh.

• journey's end in lovers meeting: as everyone is well aware, unless you've hidden under a rock during your whole life of knowing me, i hate weddings. i do have to say however, that i love molly and i love that ben proposed to her! if he wasn't going to marry her i would. she's one of the most amazing women i've ever met who gives as many smiles to people as she flashes herself. i'm the luckiest girl to have her as a friend-in-law aka sparkletini-in-law. congrats lovvies! xoxo

• there were even more visitors this weekend: emily & steph came to see ellen show.

• one final thing...anybody can do anything to anyone. you can't stop whats done to you, you can only survive.
  

why, sometimes i've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.

• in preparation for moving into my new place (which is darling!) my mom, emily and i embarked on a day of shopping for forced purchases aka april fools day. it's was only a partial shit show. mom and i fought about organic towels and i still don't have a shower curtain, but somewhere in the process i managed to lock her keys in her car while she was in menards and i had a random thought to go inside to see if they had any shower curtains. we had to call packy to have him bring us keys. ellen was pissed. i thought it was funny. packy arrived and started laughing and we thought he was just going to bust my balls and make fun of me for being spacey. instead he tells us he forgot the keys at home. after 3.2 minutes we believed him and i started to get into the car when he totally april fooled us & showed us the keys & told us to suck a dick (ludacris style). i heart my crazy family. rack em, rack em, rack em, rack ball.
• i ran out of gas last week. that's typical. i made it to the parking garage before literally coming to a stop on the 5th floor. leah & cat drove me to a shell station by work during lunch to get a legal gasoline receptacle. they sold out of them. really?! discussing what plan b would be, a nice station attendant by the name of jojo offered to let me use his receptacle if i promise to return it. whew! as leah and i are waiting in line to pay for the gallon of gasoline and balding man in is mid 40's comes busting through the doors with a sense of urgency that made me think he really Really REALLY had to use the bathroom. instead he cuts in front of me and shouts "i'm on pump 8, can i get my towel?!" leah & i looked at each other instantly and she shot me a look that says "don't laugh, do anything possible to keep quiet." do you remember that blog i posted a while back about the shell commercials and their collectable towels...lets just say that commercial instantly popped in my mind and i honestly couldn't believe there was someone out there who was collecting those damn towels. i mean it's a towel! and the guy was acting like getting this damn towel was life or death. the moment was so gloriously unbelievable that it's still making me smile.
• emily im'ed me a photo of a "hot cop" that was at her car accident. for the love. photos?! i've never really thought of cops being hot really. just jerks. maybe that's why they are un-hot. it's not like they are fire fighters. oh, then she tells me she wants to get arrested in avon. by "hot cop." i spent countless lost hours of time trying to not get arrested in my life and now someone is telling me they are going to try and make it happen? note to emily: i'm not posting bail, so don't call me.
• well, since my fabulous new skype cam arrived a couple months ago i haven't taken it out of the box. there is no need to use it and i feel there probably won't be a need for the foreseeable future. i got to thinking what i could do with it and realized i could use it to record video and post it on here. look out, i might have to post a video blog soon. stay tuned. or if you have a need for this camera let me know. i might pay you to take it off my hands so i don't have to remember the reason i bought it.
• my tooth has been so achy so i’ve decided to go see the dentist when i’m home for the mutt strut. i hate going to see him because he’s always trying to give me a gold tooth. my reward is a nice vicoden (my mouth has absolutely no tolerance for pain.) and trip to the spa after.
  

i remember when, i remember, i remember when i lost my mind...

...there was something so pleasant about that place.

• sooo it's been a while, but the week has been long and exhausting. then again, each week this year has been long. hmmm. let's get to it...
• there is something soso sexy about a man with an accent. except a thick chicago accent. take the hottest guy and if he opens his mouth all loud & thick in the chicago way forget it. a girl can go from crush to ick in 2.2 seconds. i think i'll stick to boys in the south. they are charming & just far enough away that i can still play, but close enough to go visit in 2 hours by plane and have it still be warm. it's settled. i'm moving with crystal & the los to austin, tx in 2010. heh heh heh.
• what's up with mtv trying to bring french music mainstream to the us in the credits after the hills aired? don't get me wrong, i've had the yelle album for a few months, but that is because i'm so cool. and my friend gave it to me for free so why not listen to it. hmmm.
• well, i got myself back onto my sassy horse and decided to send cc a "bumper sticker" on facebook that said something to the effect of me being superior in guitar hero. let me also preface by saying that i drove around indy for 4 damn hours last march to find him that game for his birthday. (i know, i take that cupcake for be an amazing girlfriend.) i pretty much dominate anyone at guitar hero, except those 4 year old freaks on you tube who rock out on expert without looking at the screen. anyhow, after 3 days of texting and much debating i went to cc’s house for a showdown. needless to say, like always, he managed to do better than me at guitar hero. i'm only admitting it because we have a re-match at the end of may when he'll be in chi for work. i think it was something in the vodka he made me that weakened my play.
• tons of people ask me about my necklace i've been wearing and ask where i got it and what it stands for. let's clear some things up, shall we? i made my necklace out of a long necklace i bought last summer. i took the original pineapple charm off it and added the charm of an earring that i lost the mate to at casie's sisters wedding (another reason to not like weddings). when i got the other charm i just added it on. things the charm could stand for: delish, dad, daydream, delusional, detox, douche bag, dandy, detached, disappointed, domino, dresses, drinks, defining moments, drama-free, doodling, determined, dumpling, discovery, divulging, demanding, diamonds, darling, daring, double-stuff oreos, dismay, decorating, dysfunction, dancing, day-drinking, dazed & confused. maybe i should get an f one, too and it could just stand for fuck. f-you, f-off, f-no, f-ing a right, f-yeah. f, the possibilities are endless. oh boy.
• annoying that the ucla game is not on in this half of the country. i don't even like ucla, but i do love my hometown and the pac-10 so i'll make an exception with the basketball tourney. note, under no circumstances shall i ever receive any sort of medical treatment at ucla. just in case, now you know. p.s. don't bruin your life.
• they say there is something like 7 stages of grief. i remember them from health class: shock or disbelief, denial, anger, bargaining, guilt, depression, acceptance & hope. i think since this time last year, i’ve only reached acceptance & hope once, in august, and the other 6 have been a routine re-occurrence since then. 2008 was supposed to be a good year and take the bad away from 2007. well, i've decided that maybe, since things have only gotten worse in 2008, it's just that my 24th year of life will be bad so now i'm looking to year 25 to turn things around for me. plan is to go on a humanitarian trip to help other people. i'm thinking of honduras, but will keep you posted. i'll be in the us on the 08.08.08, but the plan for that is still up in the air. there will most definitely be massive amounts of sparkly, gold lame involved for sure. we can go to the tropics, sip pina coladas, shorty I could take you there.
• camera is broke, so when it's fixed i'll put some piccies up. i move into my new place on tuesday, goody goody gumdrops! now come visit cause i'm lonely. xoxo.

i like turtles...

...and sidewalks.

• back from pgh, well rested and ready to go for the work week. i fell on st. patricks day. i know, it's typical of me to fall. especially after 72 hours of drinking like a man. but this time it was different. as my friends know, i always injur myself on our trips, but it's usually due to wearing heels at inappropriate times. well this time, after walking what seemed to be like 4 miles through an ally in the southside of pittsburgh, past a dude resisting arrest, and through a motorcade of police we were finally almost to our destination. then, hands in pocket, i face planted and kissed a man named sidewalk. after i layed there for what seemed like a lifetime, my friends helped me up and i had a freak out. i thought my adorable little nose was broke. why couldn't my lip just be busted? i mean, i'd pay good money to get those a little more plump, but my nose?! vom. so here are photos of us at the western penn. sports & history museum. there are more in my kodak gallery (if your special enough to have that link, you have all my photos) and i'll put some on facebook, too. piccies don't even do it justice. you can't see the road rash on my face, or bruises on my lips. oh well, i've always wanted an excuse to wear bright tacky colored lipstick. it kind of camo's the pink-ness of the rest of my nose, dontcha think? enjoy and please, have a good laugh, as it's funny as hell. xoxo

steelers championship rings cheer me up!

my face looks like i play for the penguins

you can't even tell from far away

group shot in the trophy room

i figure if i fall off at least it's just carpet.

you can sort of see how gnarly it looks.

tilt your head to the left & join me on the other side.

i can totally keep up with the boys. and i'm a full foot smaller then all of them.

people keep talking they can say what they like...

...but all i know is everythings going to be alright.

• salutations from pittsburgh, pa. you know the bad thing about drinking all day? you wake up hung-over as fuck at 10. pm.
• i was sitting in the tub enjoying a relaxing bath the other night when i decided that i should start thinking about what i'm giving up for lent. mac-n-cheese, vodka, swearing, being heartbroken...then it dawned on me. easter is next weekend! when was ash wednesday?! no wonder my gramps gave up alcohol in january, i thought he was losing it. i've decided since i've been so selfish & consumed with moi that i will give up the indy 500 in may. true, after 16 years i will not be attending this year. i'm going to hawaii to visit bartow.
• wins of the week: getting a full refund from anthropologie after they already credited my gift card. acquiring a pair of black d&g skinnies in my size. work switching to environmentally friendly packaging. xanex as a form of therapy.
• loses of the week: having to make a list of forced purchases of goods for my new place. investing in a new larok dress for my brothers birthday, which ended up being a tragedy. my trust in most things male (i'll always have my daddy & my dudes). needing to use xanex.
• upon return to the chi i will be joining my new gym. it is amazing. there are no meat heads who are creepy when lifting weights, tons of free classes to take including yoga, and a sundeck off the indoor pool for summer time. and it's all within walking distance of my apartment. things are looking up!
• last night while driving to phg i got slightly intoxicated from "pepski" (god bless b-mac for his can wrappers that allow people to drink while riding). needless to say i was pretty much a jerk all night. the guys stole my phone and i noticed this morning there were several texts in my outbox that i did not send, so if you were one of the lucky ones to get a special text last night then make sure you save it and lock it. if texts were collectors items these would be platinum edition.
• molls & i went on a field trip to sephora today. we were just going for red lipstick & a re-fill of her purfume. she had the idea to get her eyes made over to reflect lucky charms. i sat in the chair next to her and watched. before i knew it, molly was up & away and i was being acosted by the make-up artist. i left the store with shamrocks and stuff you find in pots of gold on my eyes. diddlie diddlie diddlie dee.
• well, we've been here less than a day and have already survived power hour and beer bongs. there will be several photos/videos to follow, but in the meantime you can look at these and think of how much fun were are having without you. xoxo

sort of before. before i drank more.disney sing-along-songs.
power hour.sometimes you gotta rap like snoop.

the last time i freaked out, i just kept looking down...

• finally signed a lease for an apartment. mom told me to get a list of things together i need for it. i told her not to worry, jackie picked up a set of cute dessert plates from kitson with little cupcakes on them. so now my kitchen is set. i bet she rolled her eyes from my response.
• roomie and i keep passing our colds back and forth. still can't sleep through the night. i'm evading the doctor's cause i'm scared they will try and take my tonsils for reals this time. no one is every sick in summer. piss on this winter! grrr...
• sunday was sooo beautiful here. the sunniest and warmest day i can remember. i started drinking at 1 and proceed to go shopping in bucktown. after a nice little spree with the girls we went to minnie's where i treated myself to a bucket of mini coronitas. life was good for those 10 hours. then i had that re-occuring dream and couldn't sleep. maybe i should start counting sheep.
• i'm not going to discuss the demolishment of treo #73. the only statement i'll make is that i was sober and now it's in treo heaven.
• while completing my grocery shopping (while i was intoxicated with the girls on sunday. i got in trouble for drunk steering the shopping cart.) i decided i needed to pick up new weights for strength training. when i got to checkout i was pissed cause i was sobering up and mad at myself for forgetting my totes and having to use plastic bags and hurt the planet. as if using plastic bags wasn't enough, the clerk put BOTH weights in the same plastic bag and it wasn't even doubled up. jerk. 16 pounds most certainly exceeds what a freaking plastic target bag can hold. needless to say it was a shit show trying to carry all the bags upstairs and almost flailing backwards cause that one bag out weighed the other 3.
• well i found a place now get your booty's up here and come visit!!!
• kaillou & reggie are signed up for the mutt strutt. i'll post their donation webpage on here once i get it completed. our goal is to raise $400 this year, $200 each pup. it's on april 27th at the track if for anyone who is interested in helping raise money to save little animals and have their dogs do a lap at the speedway.

it reminded me twice that i was alive

...& it reminded me that you're so worth the fight.

• my name is olivia, i'm 24.5 and i like miley cyrus. i even dowloaded her song onto my iPod. the first step is admitting you have a problem, so there. i said it. whew, i feel so much better now!
• so apparently, moving away from indy and all the drama does not mean people stop talking about you. in fact, my relationships with the opposite sex seem to be an on-going topic. still. funny how everything i hear from people about my love life is actually more interesting and entertaining then what i've experienced. in some cases these people know more about my relationships than i do. it's actually amusing to me, these things i've heard the last few days about my current relationship status. let's just set some things straight: i am single. it is complicated. i've had my heart broken 1.5 time is less than a year & i'm hoping that .5 goes away in about 3 weeks (sooner would be better) and doesn't turn into a full-fledged 2. i currently can't be bothered to entertain any boys with my time in chicago or any of the other 49 states. you know nothing about what has or has not happened in my life the last 3 months so do everyone a favor, keep my name out of your mouth, shut the fuck up, and go back to where you came from.
• speaking of my relationships, i ended up talking with cole on the phone during my shopping escapade to whole foods. it's fun to chat with someone who it's so easy to talk to. i explained that i was going to get some soup for julie while i was out, cause she came home sick. cole said it must be that motherly instinct that i have in a big way, always wanting to take care of others and make the better. that is the best conversation we've had in a year. random.
• going down the escalator at work, you see the people going up the opposite escalator. i mention this because i was riding down with the nicole the other day to - big shock - go get a tea from the espresso bar. as we were going down this little girl comes hauling ass, balls to the walls running up the up escalator. mid sprint, she tripped up the escalator and did a face plant smack down and slowly drifted to the top. hands down, it was one of the best things i've ever seen happen at work. i felt bad for the little girl, but man it was hilarious. don't worry little girl, i always trip up and eat it daily so it's all good.
• it's no suprise to those of you who know me that i hate weddings. the fuss, the bad cakes, the finding a date, blah blah blah. i only make it a point to go when neccessary. this being said, i dont like even like to watch weddings in movies. okay, i'll admit i watch who's wedding is it anyway on style network because i like to see how the events are planned. tonight julie was watching the movie the wedding date. again, i'll admit that it was cute & entertaining. as soon as i got on my "i dont like weddings" sassy horse i feel like someone punched me in the lungs. the hot date said to debrah messing "i'd rather fight with you than make love to anybody else." gloriousity. just when i lost faith in men, let a movie bring me back to the positives. naturally.
• have you seen those shell gasoline commercials that offer and exclusive, collectors item towels complimentary with any fill-up of 10 gallons or more? there are even 3 different colors to collect! ha. there is so much i can say about this one, but i'll keep it short: how is a towel that is going to clean up spills in your car going to be a collectors item? hurry and get yours while supllies last! shell has nothing on speedy rewards from speedway gas station.

little miss obsessive, can't get over it...

it's my nature to be obsessive. i think that is why i'm successful. at most things. at any rate that seems to be the theme of the week.

• obsession #1: strength training. my torso/abs are so so sooo sore from this and laughing that it even hurts to sit. an amazing man (probably the most amazing in the whole wide world) once told me something about warming a water bottle and rubbing it on my tum tum to make it feel better. although thinking about that makes me want to burst out into tears or laugh or both, as soon as i'm done with this i'm totally going to try and microwave my roomies dasani bottle and see if it works.
• obesssion #2: drinking tea. seriously, it's turned into a problem. i've had like 12 cups today. i ran out of milk tonight and the roads are too bad to go pick some up. aww piss. oh well, i'll probably still have one more.
• obsession #3: the forever 21 in yorktown. when a girl is down & out leave it to a great girlfriend to take her mind off things...oh my. i've never seen a forever 21 in this gloriousity before. it had approx. 7 rooms full of bliss. leah & i had a slight runway show when we took over the fitting rooms and the day ended nicely with 3 dress, 1 top, 1 ring and only $17 over budget. if my heart started to palpitate at the sight of this one, i can only imagine what will happen when the one on michigan ave opens (it's taking over the huge tower records building!) love love love. the photo does it not one bit of justice.

• obession #4: gardening. i've never felt such an urge to grow & cultivate pretty little things such as flowers, pineapples, and herbs. stuff like that. when i get my place i think i'll make a little flower box and plant all the boxes with flowers and herbs in the packaging of all my different beauty products and have a nice happy garden.

better late than never...

...daytona 500 party at chateau de wheeler.

what started out as an excuse to come home turned into a full-fledge shin dig.

"it's always easter when bunny's around" -packy
this girl is named bunny. really.

and that is my glorious tony stewart plate collage.

it's classic that the lovedove's won the big pool, they are mega gamblers.

and ironically, they are getting married in vegas.

my mom's a trooper...don's a motor boater

i was that sad tony stewart lost...

once upon a time i was falling in love, but now i'm only falling apart...

...there's nothing i can do, a total eclipse of the heart. (& tonight a total eclipse of the moon @ approx. 9pm CST.)

• i was telling a friend at work today about the lunar eclipse tonight and how it's the same eclipse that christopher columbus used to trick the Jamaicans into giving him all the food he wanted. before i finished telling her my story she asked who the hell i was and how did i know this. i told her the radio, of course. she sighed with relief.
• i'm over a lot of things right now. one of them is stressing about finding my own place in chi. so i've given myself one more week and no matter how much it costs i will have my own place by march 1st. i went tonight to look at a place that was sooo hot inside that i was sweating like a dude. and it's the hottest day of the winter. imagine summer w/out ac. no thank you. p.s. if your planning of visiting, i've also decided i'm not being forced to purchase a couch so deal with it and hold your bitching in.
• d really does = prince charming. when aaa came to change my tire guess what? the guy's name was the same as my current beau's. normally that wouldn't be a big deal, but it's not a common name over here. plus, the dude rapped to me as he was changing the tire, making it the most glorious aaa experience yet.
• there was a commercial on that was a mom talking about the importance of having dinner w/her family each night. i thought this was lovely and all, but then she pulled out a box of hamburger helper. woof. not that i'm expanding my family anytime soon, but this has sparked my decision to learn how to cook. i'm mean proper cook, not just salad & black bean burgers & egg whites.
• the super mario for wii is incredible. in a quest i've been successful with since the original nintendo, i'm gong to beat bowser next time i'm home. and the best part is you get to collect all sorts of jewels in the game and feed them to cute little stars (lumas). i told my mom luma would be a cute name for a kid and she corrected me by pointing out it's all good until they get made fun of at school for being named after a star in a wii game. guess it's back to cupcake.
• this is the year of trying new things and seafood is going to be one of them. i don't believe when people tell me it tastes like chicken. well if it tasted so much like chicken they why bother eating it? duh. so now i will see for myself what the big fuss is over seafood. also, i hate when people peer pressure you into eating it, especially when there's cocktails involved. why would anyone try something new like that while drinking and risk vomiting in public? anyway, i figure if my shampoo can be made from caviar, then it couldn't hurt to try seafood...
• i decided i need a new hobby and since i want to help people maybe i should become a girl scout troop leader. this all sounded good except for the fact that i wouldn't have much to teach them, unless the girl scouts of america thinks baking cupcakes, knowing the importance of premium denim, understanding college football and the bcs shit show, and how to shake the perfect cosmopolitan is important. maybe it's time i look for something i can to to help the environment like plant flowers in parks or teach kids about recycling.
• i'll post photos of the weekend tomorrow, cross my heart. but tonight i'll go enjoy the red moon & cocktails with nicole.

my hair is sooo big...

...because it holds everyone's secrets.

• imagine my astonishment when i pulled my sorry, hung from a cosmopolitan valentine haze, ass out of the house for work yesterday to discover a flat left front tire. perfect. i decided i can't be bothered to call my good friends at aaa so i hop in, and get adjusted and decide i can add some air at the gas station and go from there. really?! because as soon as i get ready to drive off i see a parking ticket under my windshield wiper. bastards. this is my karmic retribution for being an awful valentine and drunk dialing at inappropriate international times. p.s. did you know fix-a-flat doesn't work in under 34 degree F?
• the road trip has turned to a solo trip, as my friends have shizz they need to deal with. story of my life this year. my eta is about 12:47am EST, and the good news is i'm staying until tuesday now.
• at emily's suggestion, i decide my first of several trips i will be taking with all my flight money will be home to la. then probably on to hawaii to see bartow from there. melekaliki i hope i meet matt leinart. or kelly slater.
• derek thinks its "cute" that i have a little blog and all but refuses to read it, as apparently talking frequently cuts off any internet interaction. it's cool...i wish he'd just come out and readily admit he has a problem with navigating the internet since upgrading from dial up only a mere 4 months ago.
• my life has be deduced to watching any new release at lake theatre. definitely, maybe was last nights choice. i only cried a mere 18 times. note to self: don't watch love stories when your heart is fragile. or if there could be real life couples surrounding you and making major pda. i wanted to punch every single one of them in the teeth. instead i went home and snuggled with bear and wally.
• jane fonda said the cunt word on the today show. that woman is glorious. if i knew how to post the clip of it on this thing i would. loves her!
• daytona 500 party @ chateau de wheeler tomorrow. get there before 2, that's when the actual race starts.
• finally, the big secret: ben & molly are going to be in indy this weekend, too!!! nothing like great friends and family and diet coors to cheer a girl up.
  

maybe a mini breathalyzer is just what the doctor ordered...

• since trying to rid myself of myspace drama and mystalking, it's no secret i deleted my account. apparently some of you like to read what jackie refers to as "livs logic" and view my amazing photog skills, so here is my cure to you missing me.
• it has been brought to my attention that i have acquired a small fortune in travel vouchers, stemming from my new thrill of booking international trips then canceling them within the same week. i'm thinking hawaii in april or maybe belize? any suggestions? p.s. i have to use them by 12.31.08. great. i can travel the whole year in the us and probably still have a pile left of airline money to use.
• i decide to change my favorite holiday from valentines day to the 4th of july, effective immediately. the 4th at least still give me fireworks to look forward to...
• in order to maintain my status of irrationality princess, i decide a road trip with my new chicago friends is in order for the weekend. we will be in indy saturday night. if your lucky, we might get to catch up.
• nicole tells me she wants to invest in a mini breathalyzer kit so she knows when she's had to much to drink and can't drive. expecting me to be thrilled at the idea i remind her i'm 5'2" and small so i could have a dose of nyquil and fail.
• last week was several days of rain and snow aka sleet. why can't sleet have a cute merging name such as brangelina?
• julie rings to tell me were going to a valentine movie together at my new favorite oak park landmark, lake theatre. for about 12 minutes i think that sneaking in mini pocket rockets of grey goose and wallowing in my self pity i just the cure i need. julie follows up with another phone call telling me drinks at cocina instead, which makes me realize how ridiculous my first thought was.
• finally, i appreciate the efforts of those trying to cheer me up, etc but enough is enough. i'm fine and dandy getting through gnarly winter and dealing with all this shit and have no intentions of snapping out of this funk until i can wear cutoffs and frye sandals.