it reminded me twice that i was alive

...& it reminded me that you're so worth the fight.

• my name is olivia, i'm 24.5 and i like miley cyrus. i even dowloaded her song onto my iPod. the first step is admitting you have a problem, so there. i said it. whew, i feel so much better now!
• so apparently, moving away from indy and all the drama does not mean people stop talking about you. in fact, my relationships with the opposite sex seem to be an on-going topic. still. funny how everything i hear from people about my love life is actually more interesting and entertaining then what i've experienced. in some cases these people know more about my relationships than i do. it's actually amusing to me, these things i've heard the last few days about my current relationship status. let's just set some things straight: i am single. it is complicated. i've had my heart broken 1.5 time is less than a year & i'm hoping that .5 goes away in about 3 weeks (sooner would be better) and doesn't turn into a full-fledged 2. i currently can't be bothered to entertain any boys with my time in chicago or any of the other 49 states. you know nothing about what has or has not happened in my life the last 3 months so do everyone a favor, keep my name out of your mouth, shut the fuck up, and go back to where you came from.
• speaking of my relationships, i ended up talking with cole on the phone during my shopping escapade to whole foods. it's fun to chat with someone who it's so easy to talk to. i explained that i was going to get some soup for julie while i was out, cause she came home sick. cole said it must be that motherly instinct that i have in a big way, always wanting to take care of others and make the better. that is the best conversation we've had in a year. random.
• going down the escalator at work, you see the people going up the opposite escalator. i mention this because i was riding down with the nicole the other day to - big shock - go get a tea from the espresso bar. as we were going down this little girl comes hauling ass, balls to the walls running up the up escalator. mid sprint, she tripped up the escalator and did a face plant smack down and slowly drifted to the top. hands down, it was one of the best things i've ever seen happen at work. i felt bad for the little girl, but man it was hilarious. don't worry little girl, i always trip up and eat it daily so it's all good.
• it's no suprise to those of you who know me that i hate weddings. the fuss, the bad cakes, the finding a date, blah blah blah. i only make it a point to go when neccessary. this being said, i dont like even like to watch weddings in movies. okay, i'll admit i watch who's wedding is it anyway on style network because i like to see how the events are planned. tonight julie was watching the movie the wedding date. again, i'll admit that it was cute & entertaining. as soon as i got on my "i dont like weddings" sassy horse i feel like someone punched me in the lungs. the hot date said to debrah messing "i'd rather fight with you than make love to anybody else." gloriousity. just when i lost faith in men, let a movie bring me back to the positives. naturally.
• have you seen those shell gasoline commercials that offer and exclusive, collectors item towels complimentary with any fill-up of 10 gallons or more? there are even 3 different colors to collect! ha. there is so much i can say about this one, but i'll keep it short: how is a towel that is going to clean up spills in your car going to be a collectors item? hurry and get yours while supllies last! shell has nothing on speedy rewards from speedway gas station.

little miss obsessive, can't get over it...

it's my nature to be obsessive. i think that is why i'm successful. at most things. at any rate that seems to be the theme of the week.

• obsession #1: strength training. my torso/abs are so so sooo sore from this and laughing that it even hurts to sit. an amazing man (probably the most amazing in the whole wide world) once told me something about warming a water bottle and rubbing it on my tum tum to make it feel better. although thinking about that makes me want to burst out into tears or laugh or both, as soon as i'm done with this i'm totally going to try and microwave my roomies dasani bottle and see if it works.
• obesssion #2: drinking tea. seriously, it's turned into a problem. i've had like 12 cups today. i ran out of milk tonight and the roads are too bad to go pick some up. aww piss. oh well, i'll probably still have one more.
• obsession #3: the forever 21 in yorktown. when a girl is down & out leave it to a great girlfriend to take her mind off things...oh my. i've never seen a forever 21 in this gloriousity before. it had approx. 7 rooms full of bliss. leah & i had a slight runway show when we took over the fitting rooms and the day ended nicely with 3 dress, 1 top, 1 ring and only $17 over budget. if my heart started to palpitate at the sight of this one, i can only imagine what will happen when the one on michigan ave opens (it's taking over the huge tower records building!) love love love. the photo does it not one bit of justice.

• obession #4: gardening. i've never felt such an urge to grow & cultivate pretty little things such as flowers, pineapples, and herbs. stuff like that. when i get my place i think i'll make a little flower box and plant all the boxes with flowers and herbs in the packaging of all my different beauty products and have a nice happy garden.

better late than never...

...daytona 500 party at chateau de wheeler.

what started out as an excuse to come home turned into a full-fledge shin dig.

"it's always easter when bunny's around" -packy
this girl is named bunny. really.

and that is my glorious tony stewart plate collage.

it's classic that the lovedove's won the big pool, they are mega gamblers.

and ironically, they are getting married in vegas.

my mom's a trooper...don's a motor boater

i was that sad tony stewart lost...

once upon a time i was falling in love, but now i'm only falling apart...

...there's nothing i can do, a total eclipse of the heart. (& tonight a total eclipse of the moon @ approx. 9pm CST.)

• i was telling a friend at work today about the lunar eclipse tonight and how it's the same eclipse that christopher columbus used to trick the Jamaicans into giving him all the food he wanted. before i finished telling her my story she asked who the hell i was and how did i know this. i told her the radio, of course. she sighed with relief.
• i'm over a lot of things right now. one of them is stressing about finding my own place in chi. so i've given myself one more week and no matter how much it costs i will have my own place by march 1st. i went tonight to look at a place that was sooo hot inside that i was sweating like a dude. and it's the hottest day of the winter. imagine summer w/out ac. no thank you. p.s. if your planning of visiting, i've also decided i'm not being forced to purchase a couch so deal with it and hold your bitching in.
• d really does = prince charming. when aaa came to change my tire guess what? the guy's name was the same as my current beau's. normally that wouldn't be a big deal, but it's not a common name over here. plus, the dude rapped to me as he was changing the tire, making it the most glorious aaa experience yet.
• there was a commercial on that was a mom talking about the importance of having dinner w/her family each night. i thought this was lovely and all, but then she pulled out a box of hamburger helper. woof. not that i'm expanding my family anytime soon, but this has sparked my decision to learn how to cook. i'm mean proper cook, not just salad & black bean burgers & egg whites.
• the super mario for wii is incredible. in a quest i've been successful with since the original nintendo, i'm gong to beat bowser next time i'm home. and the best part is you get to collect all sorts of jewels in the game and feed them to cute little stars (lumas). i told my mom luma would be a cute name for a kid and she corrected me by pointing out it's all good until they get made fun of at school for being named after a star in a wii game. guess it's back to cupcake.
• this is the year of trying new things and seafood is going to be one of them. i don't believe when people tell me it tastes like chicken. well if it tasted so much like chicken they why bother eating it? duh. so now i will see for myself what the big fuss is over seafood. also, i hate when people peer pressure you into eating it, especially when there's cocktails involved. why would anyone try something new like that while drinking and risk vomiting in public? anyway, i figure if my shampoo can be made from caviar, then it couldn't hurt to try seafood...
• i decided i need a new hobby and since i want to help people maybe i should become a girl scout troop leader. this all sounded good except for the fact that i wouldn't have much to teach them, unless the girl scouts of america thinks baking cupcakes, knowing the importance of premium denim, understanding college football and the bcs shit show, and how to shake the perfect cosmopolitan is important. maybe it's time i look for something i can to to help the environment like plant flowers in parks or teach kids about recycling.
• i'll post photos of the weekend tomorrow, cross my heart. but tonight i'll go enjoy the red moon & cocktails with nicole.

my hair is sooo big...

...because it holds everyone's secrets.

• imagine my astonishment when i pulled my sorry, hung from a cosmopolitan valentine haze, ass out of the house for work yesterday to discover a flat left front tire. perfect. i decided i can't be bothered to call my good friends at aaa so i hop in, and get adjusted and decide i can add some air at the gas station and go from there. really?! because as soon as i get ready to drive off i see a parking ticket under my windshield wiper. bastards. this is my karmic retribution for being an awful valentine and drunk dialing at inappropriate international times. p.s. did you know fix-a-flat doesn't work in under 34 degree F?
• the road trip has turned to a solo trip, as my friends have shizz they need to deal with. story of my life this year. my eta is about 12:47am EST, and the good news is i'm staying until tuesday now.
• at emily's suggestion, i decide my first of several trips i will be taking with all my flight money will be home to la. then probably on to hawaii to see bartow from there. melekaliki i hope i meet matt leinart. or kelly slater.
• derek thinks its "cute" that i have a little blog and all but refuses to read it, as apparently talking frequently cuts off any internet interaction. it's cool...i wish he'd just come out and readily admit he has a problem with navigating the internet since upgrading from dial up only a mere 4 months ago.
• my life has be deduced to watching any new release at lake theatre. definitely, maybe was last nights choice. i only cried a mere 18 times. note to self: don't watch love stories when your heart is fragile. or if there could be real life couples surrounding you and making major pda. i wanted to punch every single one of them in the teeth. instead i went home and snuggled with bear and wally.
• jane fonda said the cunt word on the today show. that woman is glorious. if i knew how to post the clip of it on this thing i would. loves her!
• daytona 500 party @ chateau de wheeler tomorrow. get there before 2, that's when the actual race starts.
• finally, the big secret: ben & molly are going to be in indy this weekend, too!!! nothing like great friends and family and diet coors to cheer a girl up.
  

maybe a mini breathalyzer is just what the doctor ordered...

• since trying to rid myself of myspace drama and mystalking, it's no secret i deleted my account. apparently some of you like to read what jackie refers to as "livs logic" and view my amazing photog skills, so here is my cure to you missing me.
• it has been brought to my attention that i have acquired a small fortune in travel vouchers, stemming from my new thrill of booking international trips then canceling them within the same week. i'm thinking hawaii in april or maybe belize? any suggestions? p.s. i have to use them by 12.31.08. great. i can travel the whole year in the us and probably still have a pile left of airline money to use.
• i decide to change my favorite holiday from valentines day to the 4th of july, effective immediately. the 4th at least still give me fireworks to look forward to...
• in order to maintain my status of irrationality princess, i decide a road trip with my new chicago friends is in order for the weekend. we will be in indy saturday night. if your lucky, we might get to catch up.
• nicole tells me she wants to invest in a mini breathalyzer kit so she knows when she's had to much to drink and can't drive. expecting me to be thrilled at the idea i remind her i'm 5'2" and small so i could have a dose of nyquil and fail.
• last week was several days of rain and snow aka sleet. why can't sleet have a cute merging name such as brangelina?
• julie rings to tell me were going to a valentine movie together at my new favorite oak park landmark, lake theatre. for about 12 minutes i think that sneaking in mini pocket rockets of grey goose and wallowing in my self pity i just the cure i need. julie follows up with another phone call telling me drinks at cocina instead, which makes me realize how ridiculous my first thought was.
• finally, i appreciate the efforts of those trying to cheer me up, etc but enough is enough. i'm fine and dandy getting through gnarly winter and dealing with all this shit and have no intentions of snapping out of this funk until i can wear cutoffs and frye sandals.