why, sometimes i've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.

• in preparation for moving into my new place (which is darling!) my mom, emily and i embarked on a day of shopping for forced purchases aka april fools day. it's was only a partial shit show. mom and i fought about organic towels and i still don't have a shower curtain, but somewhere in the process i managed to lock her keys in her car while she was in menards and i had a random thought to go inside to see if they had any shower curtains. we had to call packy to have him bring us keys. ellen was pissed. i thought it was funny. packy arrived and started laughing and we thought he was just going to bust my balls and make fun of me for being spacey. instead he tells us he forgot the keys at home. after 3.2 minutes we believed him and i started to get into the car when he totally april fooled us & showed us the keys & told us to suck a dick (ludacris style). i heart my crazy family. rack em, rack em, rack em, rack ball.
• i ran out of gas last week. that's typical. i made it to the parking garage before literally coming to a stop on the 5th floor. leah & cat drove me to a shell station by work during lunch to get a legal gasoline receptacle. they sold out of them. really?! discussing what plan b would be, a nice station attendant by the name of jojo offered to let me use his receptacle if i promise to return it. whew! as leah and i are waiting in line to pay for the gallon of gasoline and balding man in is mid 40's comes busting through the doors with a sense of urgency that made me think he really Really REALLY had to use the bathroom. instead he cuts in front of me and shouts "i'm on pump 8, can i get my towel?!" leah & i looked at each other instantly and she shot me a look that says "don't laugh, do anything possible to keep quiet." do you remember that blog i posted a while back about the shell commercials and their collectable towels...lets just say that commercial instantly popped in my mind and i honestly couldn't believe there was someone out there who was collecting those damn towels. i mean it's a towel! and the guy was acting like getting this damn towel was life or death. the moment was so gloriously unbelievable that it's still making me smile.
• emily im'ed me a photo of a "hot cop" that was at her car accident. for the love. photos?! i've never really thought of cops being hot really. just jerks. maybe that's why they are un-hot. it's not like they are fire fighters. oh, then she tells me she wants to get arrested in avon. by "hot cop." i spent countless lost hours of time trying to not get arrested in my life and now someone is telling me they are going to try and make it happen? note to emily: i'm not posting bail, so don't call me.
• well, since my fabulous new skype cam arrived a couple months ago i haven't taken it out of the box. there is no need to use it and i feel there probably won't be a need for the foreseeable future. i got to thinking what i could do with it and realized i could use it to record video and post it on here. look out, i might have to post a video blog soon. stay tuned. or if you have a need for this camera let me know. i might pay you to take it off my hands so i don't have to remember the reason i bought it.
• my tooth has been so achy so i’ve decided to go see the dentist when i’m home for the mutt strut. i hate going to see him because he’s always trying to give me a gold tooth. my reward is a nice vicoden (my mouth has absolutely no tolerance for pain.) and trip to the spa after.