i can see clearly now the rain is gone...

So I'm coming to you live from Cappys tonight (my favourite local watering hole). There is a monsoon-like downpour in shadyside, so instead to walking the 1.2 blocks to my apartment I decided to seek warm shelter & diet coors. Also, I just washed my hair yesterday and I didn't want it to get all diana rossed out.

-Anyhow, I thought I'd give yinz a tonsils update since I went to see an ENT today and got the most unbelievable news ever. Beings that the doc checks ears & nose & throat, she said she would check more than my tonsils for good measure. Naturally, I obliged and thought what a waste. Wrong. As she was peeking into my left ear, she ask me the most odd question: do you wear ear plugs? I had to explain that, well yeah, I do wear ear plugs at the races. I used to have a fancy pair that were molded to my ears, but I lost those and last year I had to wear the dodgy little ones during some races. A few moments later doc-ie informed me that I, in fact, had an ear plug stuck in my ear. Let me just say it was not at the surface where my q-tip could poke it, this thing was IN my ear. So much so that she had use a little apparatus that I can only describe as a tiny wine corker for the ear. She twisted it in, I had some pain and thought "holy shit my ear is going to explode." Then, just like a wine cork, she pulled out an entire ear plug. Instantly it was like the angels were singing, I could hear so clearly. I feel like when I talk now I'm yelling. Here I thought that I just had my hearing damaged from not wearing ear plugs at the track all those years. The funny part is the ear plug has been in there since the Indy 500 circa '08. I remember that because I thought it was weird the only ear plugs I could find were white (they are normally rad neon colors). I remember after Dixie won and everyone jump around my right ear plug fell out, so I guess I just assumed the left did the same. It didn't. Needless to say my tonsils were prescribed medicine to try and fix them. And now I have the best hearing. We thought Chris getting a corn dog stuck in his throat at the chicago race & having to get an emergency reverse colonoscopy through-the-throat to dis-lodge it.
-So, I've been on a huge, let's get domesticated binge. I'm trying to teach myself how to cook. While I make the most amazing cupcakes in the world (sprinkles doesn't have shit on me), I - for the life of me - cannot make rice. I tried again on Sunday. I thought it was a great thing to do while watching NASCAR...they both take forever to end. Just when I was getting excited I hear what's sounds like the equivalent of a dying smoke detector from the hall. I didn't think too much of it. Until not even 10 mins later when I heard sirens outside on my building and a fire engine pulls up. Two seconds later my doorbell is ringing. Its the fire department asking me what's on fire. I told them nothing. I was just trying to cook rice. Maybe no one has ever screwed up rice that much so they blew past me and went to look for a real fire. They left 5 minutes later, no fire to put out. And I was left with no food to eat. And sans one pan that was stuck with burnt rice to the bottom.
xx
-earblivia